Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Alive.
So much puke
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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