from now on my penis is your penis
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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