She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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