Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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