Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
