I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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