I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm like, not good at living.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
