So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
