was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
