Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He better not be in your backpack
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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