our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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