if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
