I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
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he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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