You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize