We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
