Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yo dont text me then not text me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
