That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
