i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
