he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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