i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
