The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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