Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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