So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
