please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
