ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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