does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
