DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
