How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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