the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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