My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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