dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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