What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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