She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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