Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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