pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
