I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
