I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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