let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
