Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
