"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
