if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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