yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
