why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
