Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
