Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
