alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he was CRYING into my vagina
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
