I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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