Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
