she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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