last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize