two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
