We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
