Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
