so explain again why im purple
no
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
