i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
