No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
