I am puke
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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