ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
