After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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