this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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