Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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