you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
