I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
